My Take on Marriage. The Ups and Downs and the Sweetness in between.

Last Friday Hubby and I got into a fight. Just like any other couple, we’re not perfect. We have our shortcomings and flaws. We yelled, said hurtful things towards each other and in the end we realized that we can’t give up just like that.

“I love you even when I hate you. Only married couples can understand that.” – This is just one of the many quotes that I love to live by. This is from the movie, Crazy, Stupid Love.

But this is true most of the time. Right Mommies? You may say you hate your husbands or wives for one or two nights but eventually you’ll find yourself in their arms again. I have learned from that fight that my Love for Martin has grown more than I expected. Yes, there will be times that I would hate the way he snores at night, or the way he hangs the towel after bath, even the way that he cuts his fingernails. But these are just small things compared to the love I have for him.

Married Life is not easy. It is not going to be easy and smooth-sailing. You will have the Ups and Downs. The Bumpy roads. The roller coaster ride. But in between those imperfections, lies the most important thing that a couple should do.

  1. Learn to compromise. One way or another, someone has to give way and understand. But then again, it’s not going to be the same person ALWAYS. Wala naman mawawala if magbibigay ka diba? Lalo na if you know na ikaw yung nagkamali. Minsan din, LISTENING is helpful. Lalo na siguro sa katulad ko na talker. Yung tipong, sasagot pa lang sya e may kasunod na kong itatanong at irerebutt.
  2. Choose your words. Napaka hirap gawin neto lalo na pag galit ka. But then again I believe that we are all      responsible for our actions and words. Wala naman mawawala if we’ll try to bite our tongue before we let go of what we’re about to say. Try to remember the vow you had during your wedding day. Na mamahalin mo yung taong kaharap mo, aalagaan, at hindi sasaktan.. sa kahit anong paraan. Of course, we don’t want to hurt the people we love right?
  3. If all else fail, Pray. Hindi ako perfect example na Catholic. I don’t go to mass every Sunday, but then again I always make sure that my personal relationship with GOD is still there. Pag sobrang down ako at problemado and I felt that my husband does not love me anymore (dala ng period at PMS) I pray. Nagkukulong lang ako sa kwarto and I look for the prayer booklet that I have. Pero mas maganda pag tatahimik ka lang and listen to what your heart is saying. Lift all your worries and problems to GOD. Siguro this can also be the best time to think and have your me time. Promise, after a few minutes or hours okay na ako ulit. I already have the courage to talk calmly to Martin and sort things out.

Hindi talaga madali and buhay may asawa. You guys will fight no matter how perfect your relationship may be. There will be problems and heartaches. There will be tears and yelling. There will be people who will test your marriage and faithfulness to each other. But always remember, lalo na sa panahon na gustong-gusto mo na mag-impake at umuwi sa parents mo. Try to remember the day you said “I do”; try to remember the vows and promises you made to each other. Try to remember yung feeling na super excited ka pag makikita mo na sya, the kilig moments. The HHWWPSSP (holding hands while walking pa-sway sway pa) at the mall. Try to cherish the laughters you had when you had your first kiss. ♥ Those stuff, yung ganun. O diba, it made you smile. 🙂

I remember I was ranting last Friday na pagod na pagod na ako. Na I felt like I was the only one na gumagawa ng lahat. Then he said, “Then stop doing it for me kung napapagod ka na.” nagulat ako sa sinagot ko.. I told him “Hindi pwede. Hindi ko ppwede itigil yun kasi yun yung pinromise ko sa’yo nung kinasal tayo. Promise ko pagsisilbihan ka diba? Habangbuhay..” sabay iyak. I realized kasi, for me iba talaga ang vow sa marriage e. Kumbaga, one way lang sya. Di ka ppwede mag U-turn. Kailangan talaga you’ll be brave enough to take all the consequences it will bring. Tapos, I cried lang after that. Siguro dahil na din dun sa sinabi ko, it made him realize na kailangan din e alagaan nya ako, na hindi lang dapat yung mga wives ang magaasikaso sa mga husbands nila.

Ayun, the next day we went out on a date. 🙂 ♥♥♥

Sakto din na Saab went to my Mom’s house so may quality time kami mag-asawa. We went to Robinson’s Magnolia and we watched The Love Affair – saktong-sakto lang din kasi tungkol sa mag-asawa and family yung movie and I like the moral of the story. Isama mo na din na ang galing galing galing at ang ganda ganda pa din ni Dawn Zulueta at Richard Gomez umarte. 🙂 Sana you guys were able to watch it na, maganda talaga promise!

And then of course, we were back to our normal selves. 🙂

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Kailangan lang talaga minsan e may quality time kayo mag-asawa. Yung tipong kayong dalawa lang doing the things you used to do when you were mag-on pa lang. Kahit nga staying at home and watching DVD is okay na e. At least you guys can still talk apart from your finances, work, kids and other problems at home. Diba? So there, I hope you guys learned something. And being a newbie in this married world, I would really love to hear your thoughts and stories to share. 🙂

Have a Happy Monday! ♥

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10 thoughts on “My Take on Marriage. The Ups and Downs and the Sweetness in between.

  1. Arge says:

    Hi Stephanie! Thank you for this post. I can relate to what you are going through 🙂 My hubby and I are newbies, too. Prayers and humility helped a lot. We’re learning along the way, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      You’re very much welcome Arge! 🙂 Yes, I can say na prayer is the key to a fruitful relationship. And it’s natural for all married couples to have fights. That’s what makes the relationship stronger. And believe me, super many things pa yung matututunan nyo from each other as years pass by. Share your thoughts on marriage din ah, I’ll love to hear from you. 🙂

      Like

  2. nilyncartagena says:

    Marriage is tough lalo pag nagkakaproblema na. But walang di naaayos sa mabuting usapan. After all, we are already one with our spouses so, tayo-tayo talaga ’til the end, sino sino pa bang magdadamayan. And yes, trust in God and staying true and faithful is the key.

    Liked by 1 person

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