The Modern Way of Disciplining Kids

Last Sunday was just like any ordinary Sunday for me (well, that’s what I thought).. Doing the laundry and looking after my not-so-little-girl anymore is REALLY an ultimate MULTI-TASKING skill that I need to master.

My gosh! She’s really growing up that fast – I thought to myself. She ‘s growing up so independent and very vocal about her thoughts, which I think is a good sign.

So there, back to my story.. last Sunday as I was doing the laundry while she is watching TV I told her to take her afternoon nap, but she insisted not to. I think this is what they call the terrible two’s.ย Seriously, my tot is really testing my patience, she would go in and out of the house, go near the laundry area which will make me scream at the top of my lungs fearing that she might slip or trip herself and all you can see on her face is shock and teary-eyes because you just yelled at her. Gawd! Seriously?! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ And all of a sudden you’ll start hugging her tight and whisper “Mommy’s not mad, I just got scared that you might hurt yourself if you keep on doing that.”.. after a few seconds, she’s back to normal and will do the same thing again like nothing happened.

Puhlease?! And me? Yes, I was left clueless. I did just yell right? And I just almost got mad. But look at the kid, back to her normal, energetic mood. Going in and out of the house (again!) while singing in the tune of hi-5, and happily stomping and jumping with excitement near the laundry area.

And then I thought to myself, what can be the best way to discipline my daughter? Considering her age is 2.5 years old and it is given that she is exploring her surroundings and the people around her, which sometimes most of the time gives me a mini-heart-attack.

According to a study, punishment is better that rewards system. I am, in all honesty guilty of doing the rewards system at all times. I always buy my daughter new toys and stuff because she was behave for the last two weeks, I am not a fan of punishment kasi. I grew up without being spanked by my parents (yes guys, believe me. Baet ko ano? ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Anyway, ayun na nga. For me kasi, punishment will bring tears and fear to children.. of course I want my child to be happy every time. But, what I was not able to realize is that; one way or another my daughter will get hurt. No matter how much I protect her, she will cry, get rejected, and have her heart broken. That was my mantra before that’s why I don’t like to scold or yell at her even if she’s doing something wrong na. I was thinking kasi, we can just talk it out and have it discussed in a calm manner. But for the last two nights, I was wondering if “face the wall” will work for her. Other studies naman suggested to limit her TV time, or don’t let her play with her favorite toy.

I’m just having a sigh for this. It’s only now that I realize it really takes guts to raise children. You will really learn to extend your patience to the highest level and make you research on the best way to discipline them. Right? But then again, at the end of the day what’s important is you get to explain to them why you scolded them or why you did not let them watch their favorite TV show. As a parent, that’s the most important thing to do. Let’s not scold them or worse embarrass them infront of their friends or other people; we can probably talk to them in private and make them reflect on what they did wrong.

We love our children so dearly that we always want the best for them. And for them to have the BEST in life, they need to understand the importance of DISCIPLINE.

PS

I’ll give you an update on which best suits Saab’s behavior. I’ll try first the “Face the Wall”, if this does not work I’ll try to limit her TV time.

Thanks for reading mommies! โ™ฅ Happy Tuesday!

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28 thoughts on “The Modern Way of Disciplining Kids

  1. Maan Laxa says:

    I feel you! Disciplining toddlers and preschoolers is so hard! I’m kinda tough though because I also had a tough upbringing, so I really scold my 3-year old when he DELIBERATELY disobeys me. I take away his tablet and make him stand in a corner.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Maan Laxa says:

        So far yes! Funny lang because he sometimes asks for a chair so that he’s comfortable ๐Ÿ˜› I learned that taking away something they like (like the freedom to move around) instils lessons more effectively.

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  2. Kaity says:

    I think it is best to discipline our children in a POSITIVE way.(: I tried being (a bit) harsh to my 5 year old, but he (still) kept on repeating his naughtiness, so what I do is I talk to him and explain. At the end of the day, they are just kids and I know they will learn eventually, we just need to GUIDE them in the right direction.(: You can do it, Mommy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      Thank you Mommy Kaity. Yeah I always make sure to explain to my tot why I got mad. It’s really nice ano? Because parents nowadays are really open in terms of disciplining their kids. And I think it’s something good kasi we can have open communication with them. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. Nathalie says:

    Disciplining precocious kids is really tough, right? My daughter’s almost 4, but she’s still very malikot and everything. Like you, I still go through the motions of yelling (out of fear for her safety), apologizing and explaining, and then making it up to her. But there are also plenty of times when she’d do something not so nice or not listen to me outright. Being hot-headed myself, it takes a lot of conscious effort to speak to her calmly about it. More “serious” infractions prompt me to scold her and correct her actions if needed. If that still doesn’t work, then I “punish” her by ignoring her and not talking to her until she says sorry. Works for us mostly. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • stephanie vergara says:

      True Nathalie! I mean, for us Moms it’s like so natural to shout and yell out of fear. Super challenging talaga the toddler years no? Parang lalabas yung other side ng pagkatao mo. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. Janice says:

    I can super relate especially since I have a son who also tests my patience a lot. I try to balance everything out though when I’m disciplining him. I give positive reinforcement but I also give out punishments (taking his tablet away, making him face the wall, etc), but always without physical or verbal violence, coz that’s a no-no for me.

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    • stephanie vergara says:

      Pareho tayo Mommy Janice. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t spank (yet) hehe kasi as much as possible I don’t want to hurt her. So I am thinking of other ways to discipline my kid. Well, I just hope and pray na she’ll grow up na hindi matigas ang ulo. Sana after the terrible two’s and three’s mas okay na sila kausapin.

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  5. Josephine says:

    It is really not easy to discipline a child. The strategy that might work for one kid, might not work for the other. Haist! As for me, I’m more on the scolding side, but I really make it a point to explain my actions to my children afterwards. It is my hubby who does the spanking, if they are terribly misbehaving! And I think that this set up is working on us somehow… ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • stephanie vergara says:

      Thanks Mommy Josephine! ๐Ÿ™‚ I understand your point, I mean every parent has their own style when it comes to upbringing their children. There’s nothing wrong with spanking, ang important naman kasi is that we will be able to instill discipline sa mga babies natin. As long as we are able to explain to them why we got mad or why we spanked them, I think it’s okay. Mas okay nga yun na may usap after the pagalit and palo so the kids will understand the importance of discipline. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks Mommy for dropping by I appreciate it. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. Rose Angelie says:

    OMG so relate ako mommy! Haha Honestly, parang everyday guilty ako sa yelling talaga. Can’t help it, I have two SUPER KULIT kids, 2 & 4 yrs old. I’ve been reflecting on this too, kaya lately I always try to make “scolding” fun.. like for example, instead of getting so alarmed every time my 2-yr old son climbs at anything high and immediately warning him at the top of my lungs, “DOWN!!!”, I just tease him, something like “Hala hindi kana makakababa, cge dyan kana lang matulog ha..” or challenge him to go down quickly to beat my countdown to 5 like.. that way he feels challenged na gusto tuloy bumaba agad. hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    PS: You might find this old post of mine helpful regarding disciplining toddlers http://www.mommywanders.com/2014/12/how-not-to-deal-with-toddler-tantrums.html. I migrated this from my old blog and my son was 1 year pa dito so a lot has changed talaga. But still, I often reread this every time I feel crazy na sa mga kids. Hahaha ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      Haha Thanks Mommy! That’s cute. I like the challenging part. But lately, my daughter is behaving kaya parang pahinga ako sa pagsaway. Let’s see this weekend anong surprise naman na kakulitan gagawin nya. And yes, I’d love to read your post. Will do it asap. Thanks for the fun tip mommy!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jackie Park says:

    Hi,
    Have you tried counting? In my case kasi my daughter doesn’t always remember the rules. She forgets which place is dangerous, etc. and so what I do is I count. Let’s say she’s about to go to the trash can, I call out her name in a tone na she knows means she’s about to do something wrong and then I explain that the trash can is dirty, please do not touch. If she doesn’t leave that area in 5 counts I will pick her up and put her elsewhere. It almost always works unless she really wants to get something from the trash can na she might have dropped or she just wants to see something. By 5 if she doesn’t leave that area or if you see her running towards that area pa rin even though you’ve called her out on it then you do as you promised. If you do try this you’ll need to try it or a few days before you really see its effect.
    I agree with your thoughts on discipline, but maybe this little trick can help you before you punish her in any way. I spank my daughter only when it’s something really really bad like hitting her baby sister na defenseless, etc pero even then I see first if she’s willing to apologize. I also spanked my daughter dati but it was more of stress kasi on my part and kakulitin on hers, but looking back I could have avoided it. Have you read the book Bringing Up Bebe? It’s a book by an American mom applying some French parenting techniques. It’s a very good read and the methods are very effective in my POV.:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      Thank you Mommy Jackie! Yeah I visited your blog and I should say na you have lovely kids! ๐Ÿ™‚ they are so adorable. Meron ba nyang book na yan dito sa Philippines? I just research lang kasi sa internet if I have time, i visit babycenter.com I really find it helpful. One last thing, hindi ko pa nata-try yung pag-count. Siguro kasi nauunahan na ko ng emotions pag nagkukulit sya kaya di ko na maisip ang magbilang. haha

      Like

      • Jackie Park says:

        I’m not sure e but I hope meron kasi it’s become my baby bible lol. The book describes how French babies are calm, obedient, sleep well, good eaters etc. My mantra has been “if the french can do it I can too” (although it’s harder to apply now with 2 kids.) Yung sa pagcount sanayan lang yan kasi you want to give her a chance to know her mistake and correct herself. Sorry a not preaching but just sharing kasi when they learn how to correct themselves it makes life much easier—no chasing around kids, they volunteer to help, they eat properly (as properly as kids do anyway). Good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Eihdra says:

    oh boy, been there and it was mixed feelings for me, especially I have 2 uber kulit boys. I guess it’s different for every parent and every kid, it’s a trial and error thingy until you get the right strategy.

    Like

  9. Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy says:

    My youngest just turned 2 yesterday and I can already see his stubbornness! Gosh! It really tests my patience! What I’m doing now is I remind him of that one time that I left him in a dark room for a little while as punishment. Lest he wants to be there again, he’d have to learn to start behaving.

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      Oh belated happy birthday to your kid! ๐Ÿ™‚ You know what Mommy, according sa studies minsan effective din ang punishment kasi whenever they are about to do something that is not so nice, maiisip nila yung consequence na pwede nila makuha out of doing it kaya nadididiscipline sila. Thank you for sharing Mommy! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  10. Lique Dimayuga says:

    I’m past the terrible twos with my son, now he’s a threenager! oh my gosh, they’re a different kind of species! hehe.. Kidding aside, what I’ve learned from my 2 toddlers is that you should always be consistent and SUPER EXTRA patient! I even tell my husband that if one of us says NO, for example, dapat consistent with the partner/other parent… But I guess discipling depends on the kid also, I read naman there are different types of discipline for different behaviours ๐Ÿ™‚ Plus, it is a learning process for us parents ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • stephanie vergara says:

      Thanks Mommy! Naku I agree with you dun sa part na kelangana e aligned tayong mga parents when it comes to disciplining our kids. Mahirap sya pero I believe na worth it yun. Thanks for your sweet advise Mommy Lique!

      Like

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